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Mattthezombie · 01-16-2013, 10:16 PM

So I was sitting there playing DayZ and then comes my brother getting mad at me just because I didn't eat the crust on the pizza he claimed to pay for.
He didn't pay for jack shit. So he pucnhes me in the arm just becuase of that. I call him a homosexual and make fun of how he buttfucked a guy and claims to be straight, and he calls me gay. Then he started to throw some of the tennis balls at me while I'm trying to play ARMA, I get tired of it and go up to my room and try to play on my laptop. Soon after he comes up the stairs and starts using the stock of my airsoft sniper rifle to bust down my door, yet he failed and only made some holes in the door. The stock is dented in and will never feel right on my shoulder, then he throws it down the stairs and gets one of his baseball bats and continues to beat on the door while I insult him. After a while my mother comes home and sees what he did. He acts like he didn't do shit and that I did everything. Like im a fucking alien who can damage one side of the door while your on the other.

I'm gonna smack the shit out of him when I get the chance.

Moose · 01-16-2013, 10:18 PM

Mattthezombie · 01-16-2013, 10:21 PM

(01-16-2013 10:18 PM)Moose Wrote:

I knew this shouldn't have been in spam.

John Nukette · 01-16-2013, 10:23 PM

You should shoot the fuck out of him with the poor rifle he banged up.

Fucking seriously.

Mattthezombie · 01-16-2013, 10:25 PM

The safety is also broken.

John Nukette · 01-16-2013, 10:27 PM

Use the poor rifle as a bat and break some ribs with it I don't know

Mattthezombie · 01-16-2013, 10:28 PM

If anything i don't wanna cause damage, just discipline him.

Necromancer · (This post was last modified: 01-16-2013 11:17 PM by Necromancer.)

piss on him while hes sleeping

or wipe your ass with his pillowcase

or fart on his face

or give him a rusty hook

or take his shoes, and under the sole of the shoe, put thumb-tacks so when he puts on his shoe in the morning he'll come to a rude awakening.

or just, you know, tape his door shut with a whole roll of duct tape while he's sleeping

OR ALL OF THE ABOVE.

John Nukette · 01-16-2013, 11:26 PM

I would rather loose a rib then get a heel full of fucking thumb tacks mate.

**Tumor** · 01-16-2013, 11:31 PM

I would probably beat the shit out of him if I had a brother that did that to me. Who gives a shit what your parents do to you after, he will never fuck with you again. The worst your parents could do is ground you are something, but it will be worth it.

John Nukette · 01-16-2013, 11:32 PM

I vote wiping your ass on his pillow case

Moose · 01-16-2013, 11:43 PM

Does he regularly eat cereal?

Mattthezombie · 01-17-2013, 01:08 AM

No, he regularly eats dick.

John Nukette · 01-17-2013, 01:37 AM

Inb4 you piss in his cereal

Inb4 you are going to be a good boy and pour a Fuckton of hot sauce in his cereal milk

Ivef · 01-17-2013, 01:49 AM

Go into your kitchen and get a huge knife before your brother goes to take a shower. Jump into the shower and pull the shower curtains shut. Wait for him to come up and whenever he pulls open the curtains... stab him repeatedly in the chest. He'll never see that coming.

Mattthezombie · 01-17-2013, 02:19 AM

Ivef if you would read then you would say I don't want damage, I just want to teach him NOT to fuck with me.

Ryladine · (This post was last modified: 01-17-2013 03:00 AM by Ryladine.)

Does he have a computer? Add a single batch script to his startup file so he can't use it anymore. (Simple, effective, and easy to fix once you aren't pissed at him anymore.)

Buy a bunch of these http://budk.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=159140& , throw them into the room and break them after stringing the door up with http://budk.com/product/Pull-String-Alar...159139.uts and cover the floor infront of his door with peanutbutter so he has to clean either his feet or his shoes when he comes out.

Also, put this in all of his food. http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e8fe/?srp=7

Use this whenever he's watching tv. http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/ed42/?srp=11

John Nukette · 01-17-2013, 03:20 AM

I am going to so f'ing get me a ninja remote

Necromancer · 01-17-2013, 03:23 AM

*changes channel to 666 while watching brother flip fucking shit and scream ghoast*

~~Legal User~~ · 01-17-2013, 07:08 AM

Get some knives. Lots of them. Some rope (thin) and screws with those holes at the top. Now this will take a while to do (max three days) when he is out of he room start to put the screws above his bed and things he likes get the rope and if these knives have holes in the handle loop it through there. Now make sure you can get in to his room without him waking up and tie the knives in the holes so that the hover an inch over his stuff and three of him.

For the best effect use fishing line.